Have you ever ignored your phone’s software updates until things started glitching? Turns out, marriage works the same way.

At first, everything runs smoothly. But over time, little issues pop up—miscommunications, mismatched expectations, moments of disconnection, and hurt feelings. You can ignore them, hoping they’ll fix themselves, or you can take a proactive approach.

Our lives and bodies are always shifting and changing, and relationships need regular updates to keep up. That might mean learning new ways…

I was just in Lyon, France, and one of Lyon’s points of pride is the vital role it played in the resistance movement against the Nazis in WWII.

And one of the tools used by the resistance fighters were the Traboules—secret passageways through private buildings on the winding streets, originally built for the silk workers in the 1500s to protect their goods from bad weather during transport.

Lyon has over 400 traboules (less than 80 are open to the public) and I got to traverse through four of them....

What emotions do you navigate with ease?

Which ones do you tend to avoid?

Are there certain emotions that trigger automatic responses in you, whether it's anger, defensiveness, or self-blame?

And in this context, how strong is your emotional agility, meaning your awareness of the emotions you’re experiencing, your ability to articulate them, and your capacity to make responsible, healthy choices?

Only 65% of employees say they highly trust their employer company. Emotional intelligence and socioemotional learning are the silent force behind effective leadership. It is what sets great leaders apart, enabling them to connect, inspire, and foster trust. On this World Emotional Intelligence Day, let’s delve into five actionable tips to enhance or exercise emotional intelligence on your leadership journey.

When you feel triggered by a person, conversation, or situation, do you stay above the line, or drop below the line? I used this concept this month at a retreat in Napa Valley (hence the wine and contemplation in the photo!). We were diving into how to have controversial conversations in a way that creates openness and vulnerability while maintaining respect and connection. In today's conflicted world…

It’s not uncommon in long-term relationships for one person to want to work on their relationship, while the other doesn’t.

And at time stamps like the new year and anniversaries, this may feel particularly frustrating.

As part of my ongoing “How to Have Hard Conversations” series, I answer a question about this and offer some languaging to use when bringing up these topics with your reluctant partner or spouse.

I was talking to a couple recently about their upcoming 5-year wedding anniversary, and I suggested a reflection and growth activity for their anniversary dinner. We then brainstormed a list of 10 questions, with the intent to cultivate: closeness, celebration, appreciation, teamwork, growth, and forward-thinking. Here are the 10 Questions for their 5-Year wedding anniversary, but they can be adapted for any anniversary…

Do you know what it *feels* like to experience gratitude? I mean really feel it in your body? Are you familiar with the sensations of warmth in your chest, an expansive feeling, and how it can bring a sense of openness and lightness?

If you have a minute right now, take a few deep belly breaths, close your eyes, and think of someone or something that you’re particularly proud of right now, someone you admire, a situation that brought you joy recently, or a happening you really appreciate….

Are there topics or needs that matter to you in your relationship that you’re not able to bring up and discuss in a productive way… so you avoid them? Does your partner or spouse voice topics, maybe sometimes in anger, that matter to them but not to you, so you downplay them and don’t discuss in detail?

Has it been a long time since you sat down with your spouse and talked about your needs, desires, fears, and future goals?

Three Career Strengths That are Detrimental in Your Marriage

“You can’t run a relationship like a business. Well, you can, but before you know it, you’ll run your relationship into the ground.” You excel in your career because you are logical, focused, and decisive in your leadership. But these strengths in business can create friction and resentment at home. Reflecting on these strengths through the lens of relationship distress, though, can give you a new framework to empathize with your partner and avoid these common pitfalls.

“We want to try role-playing to spice up our sex life, but I think I’ll just laugh the whole time and feel silly.” “We’ve tried sexual role-playing but my partner kept getting caught up in the details and getting distracted.”

Sexual role-playing is a way to bring a new energy of creativity and spontaneity to your sex life. You give yourself and your partner permission to try on a new skin and “be” someone else…

You’re competent and confident. People listen to you and respect you for your knowledge and experience. You’ve achieved a high level of success in your career. But none of this means that you excel in building and maintaining healthy relationships or that you’re a good lover. Here are five aspects of intimacy that may be missing from your toolbox….

I was first introduced to Impressionism and Post-Impressionism art in late elementary school in an art class. And I have enjoyed seeing and learning about these art movements over the years in museums in the U.S. and Europe, especially seeing and learning about Monet's work. So, I feel special excitement right now in Giverny, France.

What can you do to manage expectations on your vacations…and reduce disappointments and resentments?

—> You want to sleep in as late as you want and have leisurely mornings. Your partner wants to be up at the crack of dawn to explore your surroundings and go on adventures.

—> You hope for sex at least once a day. Your partner wants to feel free from any pressure to have sex and just relax and take care of themselves.

Online dating can feel both daunting and exciting at the same time. And going on first dates can feel fraught with anxiety and uncertainty. I was interviewed for the February issue of San Diego Magazine, on Expert Advice: The Must-Dos of Online Dating, and offered some of my “pro tips” for dating.

I’ve spent more than enough time watching Netflix during the pandemic, and the steamy scenes have been building over the past couple of years. As a sociologist who studies sexual trends in society, I was delighted to speak to Rosamund Urwin at the Sunday Times in London about this Netflix phenomenon. (And, humble brag here, this was apparently the most popular article the Sunday it was posted this month!)

In the past 6 months or so, the dating app Tinder, known for its particularly superficial approach to dating, has been expanding its user options for getting to know each other.

This week, Tinder rolled out their new “Blind Date” feature, and I was interviewed by a journalist at The Washington Post…

Low or lost sexual desire is one of the most common intimacy concerns in long-term relationships. I was asked, along with 39 other sex experts, to share my advice on how to reignite lost sexual desire. This was my response: “Sexual desire is a tricky thing, and still not well understood….

“Thanks for letting me be frank.” “It was a very insightful process for me.” “This has been a fascinating survey. Thank you for asking such provocative questions!” For a few months in 2021, I conducted an online “Sex & Vulnerability” survey. There were 9 open-ended questions about personal intimacy topics…

Money conversations and sex conversations have a lot in common — and many couples aren’t very skilled in either one. Do conversations in your relationship about money, and conversations about sex, have a similar uncomfortable vibe? This is common for many couples because there can be a lot of societal and personal fears and misunderstandings around these topics.